The End...

Linked to sorrow I'll never heal.

Ignorance, inconsistence, betrayal.. hate and pain... The bliss of the undead!
A storie to be told, always the begining... It ended like this...

Can't you see?
I ended... It ended... Like this...

It ended in me!! Like me!!
And I was never me!!

Desejo

Amo-te porque és sagrado, perfeito...
Amo-te por todas as curvas sublimes
Que posso desenhar em teu peito...
Amo teus olhos loucos e firmes!

Amo teus requintes de génio...
Amo teus caprichos de criança...
Amo tua indiferente segurança!

Amo teu pensamento idóneo,
Amo teu sorriso de demónio...
Amo tudo o que és e eu quero ser,
Amo-te por tudo o que não me deixas ver!

Amo-te... Nada mais...
Amo teus instintos animais...
Amo todo o teu engenho!
Amo-te com tudo o que tenho!

Amo tua certeza, tua inconstância,
O terror que inspiras quando te chateio,
O teu espírito frio, sem instância,
Sem mesericórdia, sem receio!

Inverno

A chuva que cai lá fora,
Como se para onde ir não tivesse,
Entra como se porta não houvesse,
E depressa se vai embora.

Anjos caídos do céu em brasa,
Ardem no barro frio do chão,
Demónio... De tentação...
A minha alma... A tua casa...

Choro húmido e lânguido.
Eco em mim como gritos de lava
De um vulcão que só eu sonhava.
Julgam-me sem juiz ou arguido!

Não te vás doce inverno,
Dilacera minha alma...
Corta-me em pedaços com tua calma...
Deixa-me ser cinza de teu inferno!

Cansaço

O vento lá fora geme e soluça
Pela gente que se arrasta nas ruas...
Correntes de uma existência atrasada,
O peso da alma é tanto que arrasa!
Pudera eu encontrar o caminho para casa!
Vagueio por ruelas de vida degradada,
Carreiros (que só eu conheço) de casas nuas,
Terra morta... Em sapatos de camurça...

Terei que ficar por aqui... menos mal...
Parece que o cansaço me venceu afinal!

Feelings in an envelope

Words are just words... And I will not say them no more... I chose my silence as I hold the anger inside...
Hatred... Indifferent letters that altogether mean too much! It should be no more than phonetics... Oh but it is not! It really is more! And that is what bothers me...

Oh Dreams, they die when they ought to be forgotten! Will you not leave me soon enough? There is no point in all of this pretension!

I created a world that trapped me in. I would be lying if I said that I tried to escape!

You thought you could save me... Indeed...
What you could not understand is that you can only save one who wants to be saved!

I will stay here in darkness... I am so sorry...

Promise

I've been this lonely since I was a little girl. I always had lots of friends around me but my house was always empty. Like I was...

I created you to fill that gap that existed between me and my other selves. You were the only one who could reach me... You existed as long as I wanted... And when you would leave you wouldn't care to say goodbye...

I would spend hours and hours whispering stories to you that were supposed to be mine. But it were your tales of blood, flesh and pain that pleased me the most.

I grew up to hate you and all the things you represented, that side of me that I shied away from the harsh world I lived in... The human side, the flaws I wished gone, the feelings of greater darkness that I didn't seem to care about... The shadows... All the things I loved...

At this point I can say you are more me than I will ever be... And I won't loose you again!

Felt it...

Felt it inside like a bullet...

It penetrated my skin as if it wasn't even there at all. My veins blasted with the impact. I was in shock.

Yesterday I could tell the difference... I could believe... Now it's just confusing images of it in my head!

I don't own my mind anymore, though it's hard to tell how it got away!

Eco

Silêncio, eco profundo...
De uma palavra imprevista.

Ingénua fusão do mundo
Com a realidade restrita
O eterno mito...
Do suspiro que se evita...

E depois a escuridão
De uma alma em brasa,
Inerente ingratidão
Do que se reprime e extravasa.

Porque vazio não é mais que franqueza
Nada pode ser real no que sinto,
Resta a mesma fraqueza
Que me silencia quando minto.

Meu alimento,
Em tempos de guerra aberta.
Meu alento,
Quando o monstro desperta.

Silêncio, eco profundo...
De um sonho defunto.

Sem rumo...

Sorriso

O teu sorriso parece-me tão real como a parte imaginária de uma vida negra e sem refúgios. A parte que eu gosto, a parte que eu não quero que me fuja.
Quando tudo soa a falso são estas pequenas coisas que nos fazem pensar que sempre vale a pena ficar por cá mais uns tempos. Nem que seja para as saborear apenas mais uma vez.

Se soubesses como meu mundo se tem vindo a tornar pequeno e abafado! Claustrofóbico! Esta realidade tem vindo a fechar as poucas janelas que ainda estavam semi-abertas. E as cortinas que não deixam passar a luz... Ou se calhar nem sequer há luz lá fora... A verdade é que nem sequer tentei ainda espreitar... Tenho tanto medo do que vou ver... Tenho tanto medo que seja ainda pior que todos estes pesadelos que tenho noite após noite... Começo a gostar mais deles que de mim...
Já não tenho dias para viver... Eles estão lá... Eu é que já não!

Está tudo a mudar tão repentinamente que já não sei mais o que fazer! Eu sei que não queres que mude. Eu também não! Não sei porque vejo tudo tão negro! Gostava de te explicar porque é que (só) gosto de mim assim...

Circulação

Enfrento os dias como se fossem noites... Dormindo nas esquinas, lambendo traços de chuva por entre as grades do cemitério, fugindo do sol como da cruz.
A minha sonolência é esférica. Tudo o que vejo, tudo o que sinto, tudo o que ouço, tudo o que cheiro... Tudo isso vai sempre dar ao mesmo: Tenho sono!
A vida cansa-me! Embala-me! Chateia-me!

Desperdiço as noites como se fossem dias... E no entanto... Parecem-me tão mais largas e compridas...
Noites de vida pura e corpos em brasa... Noites de fogo com morte à espreita! Julguei ver algo que nunca esteve lá... Fui eu que o criei...

Fui eu, fui eu... Já o disse... FUI EU!

Long time no see

It's been a long time. I haven't seen you
You come 'round here no more
So many years that I can't be sure
Wich one of us parted, and which was blue.

The house is empty, the rooms are cold.
These walls surround me without a breath
Devious laughter feels like it's so old
Smoke hides pain in a wreath.


Did you feel me this away?
Or did you not wanted to say?
Words you meant you didn't say!

I took the dog outside and smelled the rain.
Even she was poisoned with your scent.
Melt away in the abandoned lane
Such a home... Such a life I had to rent.

Seven Deadly Sins :: by Martha Dawig ::

Comments by ~blackeri

..Or if you prefer: Pride - Mother of all sins.

First one of the, duh, Seven Deadly Sins serie.

"Vanity is an excessive belief in one's own abilities, that interferes with the individual's recognition of the grace of God. It has been called the sin from which all others arise."


symbolism?
It's all pretty obvious but I will explain some stuff which inspired me, to sound cool, mind you.

- As you can read up, vanity is linked with the color violet, so here you go the color theme.
- Peacocks remind me of vanity as well, therefore I have used a peacock feather as an inspiration for the "frame".
- You can see the background being desertish (plus the dead tree)... Vain people usually never see any beauty in the world, but only in themselves... That is why everything around them, sooner or later, dies - and that is what I have tried to depicture.

Seven Deadly Sins :: by Martha Dawig ::

Comments by ~blackeri

"Sloth is the avoidance of physical or spiritual work"

This is the fifth from the Seven Deadly Sins series.

Symbolism:

- She is sitting on a swing and blowing bubbles: it's a symbol of wasting your time on insignificant things; idleness

- She is placed above the ground, in the sky: symbol of being separated from Earth and mundane htings (like work etc)

- Feathers: to me they symbolize something sleepy and lazy

- Color: to me light blue is also a color of sleepiness and idleness

Serenade

    Hear my pain
                 Those notes on my head
                                       Let them take you to me
                 For I'm not afraid of being her

    Hear the sorrow
                   The rage
                           Bathe with me in these deep waters
                   For I'm not afraid of being you

Indulgence

I can't count all the ways I've been fooling myself running against the bedroom window. I used to find some self compassion somewhere deep in a sense of me that was in some way something more than a mere illusion.

Now it's just this, a mirror of tastes and smells. Refined aromas in the air. Livid faces and partitures so gentle to the touch that I wonder where I got them from.

In an instant it seemed away. But it's still here.

I walked myself to the kitchen and found a tasty sandwich. Between the bites I could hear the laugther in my stomach as it rolled down the throat trying to find a way not to get in deeper than it should.

Forget that hat and let's take a walk...

The streets appeared in front of me in pieces. I didn't care. I just continued singing inside for a coffee break. That's what I did.
Went into a crowded library to find myself reciting a poem I didn't even have consciously learnt.

I really felt like it in such a day! And it was such a day!

The birds on the trees were singing with such persistent joy that it almost impossible not to follow them even if out of tune.

Suddenly the rain fell... And all turned gray in a quarter of a second... The sadness took over me... I tried to take cover but it was all to late... She always wins...

Got back home feeling imcomplete... Back in bed... Back to dreams... Back to my world...

I was safe... Nothing to worry about... Just the way I liked it...

Daydreaming

There is something I can't trust in it anyway... No matter what I'll have to do before I'm gone I'm going to heal it anyhow...

What an annoying feeling of torture! I just close my eyes and for a moment I'm really there! Where the fun is, and all the good things yet to try. Where thougth no longer invades fantasy and sorrow is nothing but an humilliating past.

To dream about it is to raise my soul up to something higher than this. And I can't take this any longer.

I am trying to hold on to something I can't reach.

I look out the window and I see people. Specters of shadow waltzing along some pathway that leads to nothing every single day. And God! how they look happy! Sometimes I wish I could be like them and not face irony in a destiny I carry like a burden.

I'm tired of being myself for others!

About to...

Hope You can't see my decay...
For I have perished in better feelings!
Stand beside me as I pray,
In worse nightmares than healings.

Putridity within this naked soul,
With boredom as its sole completion...
Came together with a goal
Too predicted to be an addiction.

Obsession I said... No more!
Your posession... My lore!

Please defeat my sleep with corrosion
So I would die in You with illusion!

Deamons

As the silent voices crept over the wood ceiling he could not sleep. He wanted to make them stop, he did... But they just kept humming and humming in his head until he could hear them no more.

Not a conscious soul was alive in that room, not even him. 'Honestly, I can't really compromise this reality thing by changing the subject of my controverse existence', he thought with the dull excitment of a grown-up loonatic boy about to discover some glimpse of humor in a fleshless body.

It was 3:00 in the morning...

'But it wasn't my fault!! I swear!!'... Was she dreaming? How on earth could he tell? 'I just told him what he wanted to know! I didn't break it like you say I did!'.
He was an attractive man, so to speak. Or at least he always had women like fleas. Honest just about anything but his true nature. Or else she wouldn't care.
She was so scared he could smell her fear. Sometimes she wouldn't even let him touch her face. And still they were both lying in the same bed, sharing the same amount of understanding for each other.

She knew that whatever was left of humanity in him was there with her in their linen sheets and their love making by the full moon chilling nights with endless rain.

3:30 and she kept crying like a little child. He knew his embrace would be enough for her to have relief... And he did just that...

'What if you let me have you forever? Don't you think we can cast away all that evil?', he asked as if begging.

Drowned in her nightmares she somehow managed to let out a sigh. That was how he always knew she was leaving him!

Seven Deadly Sins :: by Martha Dawig ::

Comments by ~blackeri

"Lust is an inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body."

The theme:

As you can see, from my Lust sketch I have only kept the pose, but totally changed the face.
I think that this one fits the topic better.
I see Lust as being concentrated on yourself, being "drowned in your own world" kind of way, rather than seducting and being "flirty"(and this look was used in the sketch)
Ok, nevermind

About the symbolism:
The color - I am aware of the fact, that according to some sources Lust is connected with blue. To me though, blue just doesn't do it - It's too "cold", and therefore I picked(surprise) red - connection with the color of flame, warmth. No I am not connecting lust with love

The frame - uses the flame pattern... my thought-connections were: flame -> burning desire -> lust

The waterfall - something rapid, unpredictable, not controlable :]

God Forsaken Soul

Are we dead already? I guess we're now decomposing...

Walking along these roads again I see nothing but desperate souls waiting for death final redemption. Though we strive along as rats hungered in the coldness of the hardest desert, we don't seem to be more alive than they do.

We pray for a savior...
We cannot save ourselves... We cannot trust ouserlves...
We don't need a savior alike us...
We could not possibly trust him...

What's the purpose anyway? There's nothing out there to live for... There's nothing out there to die for... So we just keep surviving...

Many times I find myself asking this question to the wind and end up hearing the same laughter I want to cry from within me...

I am asking You! Let me breathe outside this insane boundaries that haunt us since childbirth!
I am almost begging You! Whomever you are!

WHY CAN'T ANYBODY SEE WHAT I SEE?!?!?

Why can't anybody hear this soul scream?
Why isn't anyone suffering this like me?

WHY DOESN'T THIS BOTHER ME AT ALL?!?!?

I used to think this feelings of guilt and pain were only mad ghosts unwilling to leave this faceless heart. Now I know what they are...

Why can't You understand it anyhow?

There is a war raging aloud in this empty and soulless world of ours. And all we need is an angel!
An illusion master we the same urge to sell us his emotions as our own constant need to dispose of them!

I think about this as often as I cry for help... Inside of all my loneliness...
Wishing I could be that dark inoccent angel that lurke in the shadows of Your holyness and Your most sacred and tormented desires.
The ones You can't denny, the sames ones that made You kill me and stretch my flesh until all I could see of myself was boneless skin ripped apart.

You said You wanted me... We always want what we cannot have...