Today I found myself listening to soul music and watching out my bedroom window at an hilariously bright summer day without even a glance of guilt in my mind.
Everytime I think how none of this ever made sense I can't help but to laugh inside.
Finally I stopped feeling weak. but I don't feel strong either. I wonder if this is okay... Not feeling "not so good" for a little while.
Went downstairs for a cup of coffe and got an instant safety in that strong warm drink. Someone should have told me that we must always take some time to enjoy little pleasures like this without worrying and trying to find out how we could have spent it on something else. Because that something is usually as usefull as it is boring.
Though all I want to do is pick up the phone and talk to you I know I won't do it... Not again... You just wouldn't understand... You never did and you'll never do. It's just how things are and people are not meant to be changed... At least not for me!
So I'll just get back to my useful and boring something that has been keeping me in a peaceful state of mind. And I'll just wait patiently for the night as I always seem to do.
No one would say I'm home now more than I ever been.
It's funny how we discover peace when things end. Comfort in a warm and brief goodbye. Joy in the emptiness of departure.
I will miss him more than I'm willing to admit! I will miss him as I rarely miss anyone. I will miss his way of making me feel like a little child... So special and cared for!
I wish I thanked him in a more explicit way but I guess somethings have no need for empty words. And somethings are not meant to be said.
It's funny though... How it only took a few moments of pure friendship and a strong sincere hug on the rightest moment!
I'll get back then. To the music... To my ordinary life hopping someday we'll meet again!
Everytime I think how none of this ever made sense I can't help but to laugh inside.
Finally I stopped feeling weak. but I don't feel strong either. I wonder if this is okay... Not feeling "not so good" for a little while.
Went downstairs for a cup of coffe and got an instant safety in that strong warm drink. Someone should have told me that we must always take some time to enjoy little pleasures like this without worrying and trying to find out how we could have spent it on something else. Because that something is usually as usefull as it is boring.
Though all I want to do is pick up the phone and talk to you I know I won't do it... Not again... You just wouldn't understand... You never did and you'll never do. It's just how things are and people are not meant to be changed... At least not for me!
So I'll just get back to my useful and boring something that has been keeping me in a peaceful state of mind. And I'll just wait patiently for the night as I always seem to do.
No one would say I'm home now more than I ever been.
It's funny how we discover peace when things end. Comfort in a warm and brief goodbye. Joy in the emptiness of departure.
I will miss him more than I'm willing to admit! I will miss him as I rarely miss anyone. I will miss his way of making me feel like a little child... So special and cared for!
I wish I thanked him in a more explicit way but I guess somethings have no need for empty words. And somethings are not meant to be said.
It's funny though... How it only took a few moments of pure friendship and a strong sincere hug on the rightest moment!
I'll get back then. To the music... To my ordinary life hopping someday we'll meet again!
