There is something I can't trust in it anyway... No matter what I'll have to do before I'm gone I'm going to heal it anyhow...What an annoying feeling of torture! I just close my eyes and for a moment I'm really there! Where the fun is, and all the good things yet to try. Where thougth no longer invades fantasy and sorrow is nothing but an humilliating past.
To dream about it is to raise my soul up to something higher than this. And I can't take this any longer.
I am trying to hold on to something I can't reach.
I look out the window and I see people. Specters of shadow waltzing along some pathway that leads to nothing every single day. And God! how they look happy! Sometimes I wish I could be like them and not face irony in a destiny I carry like a burden.
I'm tired of being myself for others!
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